Kidisms 2

As we near the end of this patrol it's obvious I'm over it and so are the children. Today's 'isms are as follows.
Conversation with Nicole, my six year old. "Nicole, you'll be happy to know that our snail is still alive." "Well of course he is mommy. He just doesn't like to move around a lot. Kind of like you..." I could smack you, kid.
Lilly, my four year old, was in trouble for pushing baby brother down. Again. After time out I tell her it's not okay to hit people when you're mad. I'm mad at you, is it okay if I hit you? "no, mommy" "Why's that" "Because I won't let you" "I'm bigger than you just like you're bigger than baby brother and just like him you can't stop me." "You're not big enough" said in a sing song tone and a manic smile. I think I'll lock my door tonight.  Note that after that there was more punishing and talking and she did eventually make it up to her brother. Blah, blah, blah. I'm so in for it when she's a teenager. I'm afraid. I'm very afraid.

More Kidisms

I was helping Nicole get ready for school this morning and she told me that on field day she wants to partner with Jordan. "The boy Jordan? Why him, honey?" "He can tie shoes quickly" I see. To be a pimp in first grade you just have to know how to tie some fast shoes.

Lilly was begging me to get on the computer so she could talk to grandma and grandpa. I tell her she can't right now, grandma and grandpa are at work and sleeping. "It's okay, mommy. Santa told me they're home." That kid has got some awesome imaginary friends.

I was making Lilly toast for breakfast per her request and she says "No wait, mommy. I think my mind is changing..."

Lillyisms

Lilly is insane. Those of you who know her know this. Adorable and sweet, but quite insane.
First, a disclaimer.  I have to watch my mouth. It's bad when husband is away. I get stressed, I swear a lot. Oops. So this exchange takes place.
I was on the phone with my best friend Beth and as I'm talking Lilly walks past me and knocks her shins right into the coffee table and proclaims "Ow, Dammit!" and walks on. I'm on the phone so it takes me a few seconds to process this. After my delay I ask her "What did you just say?" "I said 'ow, dammit' mommy" as if to say are you hard of hearing? I told her I'd slap her mouth next time she said it, but I had to say that with a straight face. It was funny. She says "yes, ma'am" and walks on. The ma'am thing isn't something I taught her, by the way. She started doing that all on her own. Probably because I tell her to say "yes, mommy" and because she's obstinate that's her way of rebelling.
Next, today was Lilly's birthday. Sort of. Tomorrow is her birthday but we're celebrating today. Anyway our friends got her little gifts. One of these was a strawberry shortcake lip gloss set. I knew this would be a mess, but I knew she'd love it. On our way home from the beach I let her have it. I was unaware of the nail polish contained in this set. I got the chance to yell from the front seat "Lilly! Don't eat the nail polish!" Seriously. Why should I have to say this out loud. Nail polish doesn't even smell yummy, it smells awful. She's four now. Why? I made her sister take them from her since I couldn't reach, but before that she "painted" her toes. And her hand. And her face.  Nice one Lilly.
I guess the bright side is she didn't paint the car. Definatly a bright side.