Kidisms 2

As we near the end of this patrol it's obvious I'm over it and so are the children. Today's 'isms are as follows.
Conversation with Nicole, my six year old. "Nicole, you'll be happy to know that our snail is still alive." "Well of course he is mommy. He just doesn't like to move around a lot. Kind of like you..." I could smack you, kid.
Lilly, my four year old, was in trouble for pushing baby brother down. Again. After time out I tell her it's not okay to hit people when you're mad. I'm mad at you, is it okay if I hit you? "no, mommy" "Why's that" "Because I won't let you" "I'm bigger than you just like you're bigger than baby brother and just like him you can't stop me." "You're not big enough" said in a sing song tone and a manic smile. I think I'll lock my door tonight.  Note that after that there was more punishing and talking and she did eventually make it up to her brother. Blah, blah, blah. I'm so in for it when she's a teenager. I'm afraid. I'm very afraid.