Merry Christmas!

I am so busted.
We did most of our Christmas early before the husband left, but I wanted the girls to have a Christmas, too, so I wrapped some presents that they got in Iowa when we were visiting and I wrapped a big cardboard color it in house I've had stashed in my closet. I kind of forgot that they already saw them, but even so, they only saw them once before they had to be packed up. On some I wrote "From Santa". Well, Nicole opens up her first "from Santa" present and says "I already got this from Grandma Anna" and the next one "Aunt Micky gave this to me already" and the one from my closet "Didn't you have this in your closet?" then she said one way she can find out if Santa is real is to go to my closet and if the house is still there, Santa is real. Poor kid, she really wants to believe in Santa.
Lilly absolutely loved her presents and so did the boy! Neither of them remembered anything from before, so yay for that. And they got their stockings and thank goodness Nicole never saw what was going into those before because I told her that most of the stockings stuff was from Santa and that Santa left candy canes on their pillows. They camped out in the living room last night. It was pretty cute. I think Nicole's plan was to bust "Santa", but she sleeps like a rock.

Nicoleisms: Santa

Nicole has been trying to decide if Santa is real or not. She really wants to believe. She likes magic and unicorns and princesses, but as she gets older she's having a harder time buying it. My husband tried really hard before he left to get her back to believing again. He told the girls that I called Santa and that Santa brought presents early and we wrapped them together and everything. Nicole's little eyes just lit up.
Then tonight she says:
"Mommy, when daddy gets back I have a question I want to ask him"
"Oh, and what's that? Maybe I can ask him in an email?"
" I want to say this 'Daddy? Do you promise Santa is real?'"
"Oh, I see. And why don't you just ask me?"
"Well, you weren't there when Santa dropped off the presents. Daddy was"
"Okay, that makes sense. Well, what do you think?"
"I think it's something I'll find out when I'm a grown up"
"And what do you think you'll find out"
"That Santa is fake." She says resignedly.
"Aww, Nicole. You're adorable and I love you. You are the sweetest thing"
I love my little princess.

Christmas?!?

Ah, shit. I just realized tomorrow is Christmas Eve. If I just, you know, forget about it do you think the kids would notice? It's not like they know how to read a calendar. The only way they'd really know is if the TV rats me out and if they watch netflix only, problem solved!
We did Christmas presents a little early before the husband left so they could do presents with daddy. He told them that I called Santa and Santa brought them early! So do I still owe them a Christmas. Slacker mom says NO! Screw this whole season and just claw your way to the end of it. Good mom says that's horrible, go do some crafts and make hot chocolate and be holly jolly whatever. It's the holly jolly I'm having problems with. I'm a terrible actress and I think it might make it worse if I pretend to be holly jolly than if I just be. Ah, crap. I have to be good mom, don't I? Dammit.

Lillyisms

Today's situation was as follows. Lilly took her leapster game out and I confiscated it and told her I wasn't giving it back. I hate when she takes the games out and loses them. Her response? She grabbed her leapster and stared at me defiantly and said "Fine! I'm not giving my leapster to you!" Really? You think that's what's going on here? Are you hoping to confuse me into giving it back? Kid, you are not in control here. You are cuckoo for crazy puffs. Also, it's kind of hard to stay mad at you when you're staring at me like that


Also today. I was in my closet and she follows me in and finds a bag of stashed presents I have. I make her drop it and tell her to get out of my closet. She then tried to get in anyway and I block her with my leg and then she cries that I hurt her and I tell her she needs to stay out, I said no. No, you can't touch it, no, you can't even see it. And what does she have to say? "But I want to see it" Oh, well then, since you want to...I still said no! Now go away.
Lilly is a 4 year old with a real problem of understanding that she isn't in control here.

Nicole's Funny Joke of the Day!

Bright and early this morning Nicole lets this joke loose.
"Why can't Spiderman hug his mom?"
"Why?"
"Because he doesn't have one! Hahaha!" 
Holy crap, I think that's the most depressing joke I've ever heard.
To be fair, Nicole doesn't know the story of Spiderman. To her he's just a figurine and a costume. Still, I can't wait for her to unleash that little gem on someone else.

Freaking Patrol

Rawr! I just have to get that out of my system first. This patrol is a short one, so I'm not to concerned about it, but that doesn't mean my children share my lack of concern. Oh no.
Lilly is what is called a "spirited" child. What that roughly translates into is I have to suppress the urge to murder her at least once a day. It's not that she's intentionally trying to test her boundaries, she simply lacks the concept of understanding boundaries. Punishments go like this: she does something bad (hits her brother, dumps all her toys out, ect.) I punish her only to her it's not a consequence as much as it is "i was doing something I wanted to do and you hurt my feelings on purpose". To her the two things are completely unrelated no matter how many times I maker her tell me what she's done to earn the punishment. It's intensely frustrating. Today, for example, I was feeling a little stressed so I made it a point to stay home. Lilly made it a point to test my sanity. I eventually had to spank her to get my point across and while it worked, she did finally do what I told her, she also followed me around the rest of the night telling me how I need to say sorry to her for hurting her feelings.
Oh, and Nicole. Good lord that kid scared the piss out of me twice tonight. Twice. I put the kids to bed and I was going about my night stuff and as I turned a corner, there was Nicole sneaking in like a freaking gremlin. It didn't fully register at first and I yelled "Shit!" and barely succeeded in stopping myself in time from punching her. I'm not the kind of person you sneak up on. After a second I asked her what was wrong and she said she couldn't get comfortable. I tucked her back into bed, kissed her goodnight, and went off to make my dinner. Twenty minutes later my dinner is almost done and as I turn around to open the oven, Freaking Gremlin! Aaah! "What the hell, Nicole?" "My back hurts" "Okay sweetie, you need to go back to bed and tuck yourself back in and make yourself comfortable and stop coming out and scaring the bejesus out of mommy by sneaking up on me like a little gremlin. You're going to sleep now. I love you, goodnight" And I gave her a kiss and sent her back. I haven't seen her since, but that doesn't mean I won't wake up at five am with a Nicole face inches from mine watching me sleep.

Nicoleisms

"Do you want me to tell you something that does not make sense?"
"Uh, sure sweetie"
"Mustard + mustard = chocolate syrup. See? That does not make sense."
"You are right, that does not make sense" In a side note I think she may have triggered an aneurysm while I pondered what the hell that meant.
                                                   
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As we're watching Hansel and Gretel we get to the part where Gretel starts spreading breadcrumbs and I ask her "Do you know why that's a bad idea?"
"Yeah, because the animals will eat it."
"That's right, it would be better to use leaves or pine cones, huh?"
"Yeah, but not dead birds."
"What?"
"Dead birds. Other animals would eat that."
"Uh, yeah. I guess you're right on that one."